You’ve waited months. Now, you’re dining and enjoying a delectable meal. The time passes quickly, too quickly, but go you must. With memory fresh and excitement high, you wish to share your enthusiasm. Naturally you message a friend, your brother and even a distant aunt, but you still want other people to know.

So, like any normal person, you post your view on TripAdvisor:

➤ 7 course taster menu was absolutely flawless. Absolutely recommend the wine flight as well. Front of house staff were fantastic and the chef coming out to every table after their meal was finished was a very personal touch

However, upon re-reading, you notice the flow of thoughts has not translated into a flowing review:

▪︎ the two short sentences make the review choppy
▪︎ repetitive: absolutely
▪︎ group like with like
▪︎ tighten to improve flow

By creating two balanced sentences, with a subordinate clause, we can write a short review which flows:

➤ The 7-course taster menu was flawless and I highly recommend the wine flight.The front of house staff were fantastic and the personal touch from the chef, who thanked each table once they had finished, was much appreciated.

The question is: how would you rewrite this review? What would you do differently?
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Clarity is not only the opposite of obscurity. Sometimes what we read takes time to process, but not because the information is important, emotional or thought-provoking. Rather, the information is expressed unfavourably so it requires reorganising or reprocessing:

[1] To view this breathtaking one of a kind property, get in touch today to arrange a viewing.

■ confusing word choice = [verb ➤ view] and [noun ➤ viewing]
■ phrase acting as adjective = create compound adjective: one-of-a-kind
■ repeated instruction = [to view] and [to arrange]
■ wordy = get in touch
■ unsuitable adjective = breathtaking
■ multi-syllable adjective prevents flow = breathtaking one-of-a-kind

If we restructure, we can improve its readability:

[2] Contact us to view this spectacular property.
[3] To view this spectacular property, contact us.

Do you agree with the revised version?

Some sentences may be grammatically correct but difficult to read:  

➤ You need to create a sweet potato dish but not a sweet potato dish.
 
The problem here is 'sweet potato': it can mean a type of potato or potato sweetened. While some may consider it strange to sweeten potato, the confusion creates a possibility; their may be a dish which requires sweetening potato.

By rephrasing, we can improve clarity so the reader does not need to read it two or three time: eliminating 'sweet potato' in one clause allows us to achieve this: 

➤ We are using sweet potatoes to create a savoury dish.  
➤ You need to create a savoury sweet potato dish.

Using savoury helps clarify 'sweet potato'.

Is their another way in which to clarify the sentence?

Sometimes, our enthusiasm to share information results in a confusing text:  😱

➤  A typical non-descript modern building from the outside the Hilton Garden Inn is very convenient for Temple Meads station (just a five minute stroll) and a little further from the harbour's lively facilities and the Town Centre, all in all around fifteen minutes walk from Central Boulevard.

Not only confusing, the poor reader has to edit and interpret what is written: considerate writers make writing readable! 😇

■ keep different subjects separate
■ be careful with vague or imprecise language
■ avoid using unfamiliar or generalist names, words or expressions
■ always check your spelling

What would you change in the above example? How would you improve it? 🤔

A new employee wrote, “I have a problem with a male. Could you help me?” to a colleague. Quite an unusually direct request from someone whom you have only just met!

Did they mean:

- I have a problem with an email.
- I have a problem with a male colleague.
- I have a problem with a personal male friend.

It transpired, after a discreet conversation, the new colleague had a problem with an email, but, in their haste, did not check their spelling. Initially, this resulted in an embarrassing dilemma for the recipient.

Normally, when new in a job, we do not discuss personal issues with unknown colleagues. Fortunately, the colleague did not mention this to anyone else; had they done so, the resulting rumours and gossip would have haunted the new employee from that day hence.

Be careful what you write! Misspelled or misused words may give the wrong impression, or set in motion an unwanted chain of events.

What would you have done?