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Creating flow in the garden10/10/2023 Sometimes we write as if our thoughts are organised :
➤ Rare 0.74 acre freehold site with a large private garden. Prime location in the heart of Chelsea. Existing building extends to a total of 38,080 sq ft (GIA). To be sold with full vacant possession of the buildings. While the text appears clear, it lacks flow for the following reasons: ▪︎ short sentences create a stilted effect ▪︎ no sentence continuity ▪︎ disorganised information, requiring reader to re-read ▪︎ undefined acronym By grouping like with like, we can create a text which readers much better: ➤ Located in the heart of Chelsea, this prime 0.74 acre freehold site includes a 38,080 sq ft building with large garden. Sold with full vacant procession. With fewer words, we have improved flow and efficiently delivered the message. How would you re-write the text?
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